IS FLOGGING A BLUEPRINT TO DISCIPLINING A CHILD?

Flogging a child or not flogging a child has been a bone of contention among young parents. The main reason for wanting to flog a child is to discipline or correct that child for doing something wrong.

The big question is "how often do you flog to correct a child? And "does your child get the correction or do you end up inflicting physical injury on the child?"

Sometimes, we do the trial and error method with kids, which isn't supposed to.

There are several ways of disciplining a child that are more effective than the use of a cane. But we choose to say these words often: "He's very stubborn, only the cane can discipline him well". You forget that children are wired to get accustomed to the things you structure for them.

Because the cane is a quick fix, children say, "Mummy and Daddy, will just flog me nothing else"

Understand that discipline is not a quick fix. Discipline is not obedience to someone else's standards to avoid punishment. It is learning and applying intentional standards to achieve meaningful objectives.

The mistake most Nigerian parents make regularly is not correcting a child when he or she does the wrong thing. They turn deaf ears and shut their eyes to them. They pile up these offences without this child knowing what wrong they have done. Then comes this day. They feel his cup of offense is filled. Then flog with the anger of the offences the child has committed over time, some of which he has forgotten.

If you examine this incident closely, you will notice that proper discipline was not used; there was no space for correcting the child on his offenses; instead, there was only a reminder of his offenses and physical pain.

It's not a good sight to see cane marks on the bodies of children, some with open wounds that were incurred through flogging.

Just like most people will say, I was flogged by my parents, and that made me firm. But you will agree with me that it made a lot of children resent their parents as they couldn't connect with them to share their worries. Rather, they preferred outsiders or strangers to talk to.

The use of the rod without the actual sense of correction instills fear in a child rather than discipline or value.

In Wendy Ologe's book "The Discipline that Works", she made reference to Praise Fowowe article where seven things to consider before beating your child were considered:

1. Never beat a child for what you have not taught him.

2. Never beat a child unless you have given him enough time to absorb what you have taught him.

3. Never beat a child if there is another effective way to correct their behavior.

4. Never beat a child when there is no data to guarantee that a beating will correct the behaviour.

5. Never, ever beat a child out of anger because you may injure the child.

6. Never beat a child without first discussing the punishment with him prior to the offense.

7. Never beat a child without giving him the opportunity to defend himself and explain the reason for his actions.

Once you run these checks and you still feel the need to go ahead, then deploy your rod of correction.

But note that the rod doesn't necessarily help one overcome some bad behaviour.

©️ EWOH DORIS CHISOM

DON'T GO TO HELL!

 DON'T GO TO HELL (I write to you as it was laid in my heart)

According to 2Cor.4.4, the god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. In line with this, the world has normalized sin and indirectly treasure HELL to be a Home. Dear sinners, Hell is not a home. Damnation was not ordained for man but Satan and his fallen angels. Why have you chosen eternal death over life? Are you not scared?
The understanding of the true meaning and overview of Hell would normally give a sane person an inner shock. Are you not shocked? Why is your heart so hardened? Why is repentance meaningless to you?

* Mental and physical fornication and adultery will lead you to hell
* Homosexual and lesbian practices will lead you to hell
* Pornography will destroy you and the end will be hell
* Greed, envy, jealousy, gossip, alcoholism, smoking, bearing false witness, etc. will all lead you to hell.

Scenarios:
* Young man/woman: Why live with someone you are not married to. Why live with or marry a divorced partner when both parties are still alive? According to Matt 5:31-32, ³¹ “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³² But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the grounds of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. The book of Luke 16:18 says, whosoever put away his wife, and marries another, commits adultery: and whosoever marries her that is put away from her husband commits adultery.

The word of God is not a respecter of nobody. It's an instruction which must be obeyed.

* Young lady: You no longer have private parts, it has been made public. You collaborate with Satan to champion LUST. You now go braless, with no pants, wearing seductive transparent clothes that show your pant lines and sensitive body parts. Why? Have you forgotten what the word of God says? Luke 17:1-2 Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. ² It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. ³ So watch yourselves.
Matt 18.6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

* Young man: Yahoo, cheating, fraud, betting, Ponzi schemes, etc. are gate passes to hell. These are activities fueled by greed, selfishness and lack of contentment. Darkness and light have nothing in common. You cannot serve God and Mammon. Why exchange your soul for things that don't have eternal relevance? Houses, cars, money, companies, etc. will all perish here on earth. Repent and accept Christ as your Lord and personal savior.

* Young man: Tattoos and earrings will do you no good. Remember Leviticus 19:28-29 KJV
you shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness

* To every IDOL worshipper who defends their church/faith/doctrines, especially the Roman Churches, to everyone who has made and has placed confidence on their money, beauty, intelligence, skills, etc., I leave you with these scriptures.

Exodus 20:4-5 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me,

Leviticus 26:1 “You shall not make idols for yourselves or erect an image or pillar, and you shall not set up a figured stone in your land to bow down to it, for I am the Lord your God.

Isaiah 42:8 “I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols.

1 Timothy 2:5 “For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus

What the Bible said about Hell

Revelation 21:8 But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulphur. This is the second death.”

Matthew 13:50 and throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Mark 9:43 if your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.

Psalms 9:17 the wicked go down to the realm of the dead, all the nations that forget God.

2 Thessalonians 1:9 they will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might

Jude 1:7 in a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

Matthew 13:42 they will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth

REPENT ALL SINNERS FOR THE LORD IS COMING SOON AND THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH BUT THE GIFT OF CHRIST IS ETERNAL LIFE.

I leave you with the following scriptures to guide you.

1 John 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Ephesians 5:1-7 therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. ...

Matthew 4:8-10 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘you shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’”

Psalm 115:4-8 their idols are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see. They have ears, but do not hear; noses, but do not smell. They have hands, but do not feel; feet, but do not walk; and they do not make a sound in their throat. Those who make them become like them; so do all who trust in them.

1 John 2:18 Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour.

Romans 12:17-21 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Matthew 4:4 But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Ephesians 5:5 for you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Colossians 3:5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Matthew 15:7-9 you hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “‘this people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”

Exodus 20:4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Hebrew 13:5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

1 John 4:8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Romans 1:25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

Prayer: May the mercy of God prevail over us and strengthen us to finish well and strong in this journey of life. Amen.

Abonyi Obinna Kingsley (Mr. K)

SAVE THAT DREAM

Save your dreams, don't squash it. Save your dreams, don't abort it. Accept and engage every process like a pregnant woman who bears a child in her womb for nine months and be ready to birth your goal safely. Dreams are the hope of our tomorrow. They are blur images that need a passionate artistic touch. One sure thing about them is, they can be made to come to life. YES you can breathe life to that IMPOSSIBLE looking goal. We often find it very difficult to put down a blueprint of what our dreams are, reasons being that they seem confusing, we procrastinate actions, we allow our dream size to suppress our potential to achieve them and all these leave us with an undecided mind. Sad to note that 80% of our dead loved ones took to the grave their wishes, goals, ideas and dreams without bringing them to life. To add life to a dream so many adjustments must be made. First we need to understand what a dream is, accept and appreciate steps involve in achieving it, take immediate actions (avoid procrastination), be ready to bear discouraging results and have the mindset of 'it is possible'. A dream is that positive passion in a man that turns him into an addict. It is that positive conscious and unconscious act that steals virtually all the time he has and he loves it not minding he couldn't  allocate time to other things. Dream come true is a process based output usually long-term in nature. Therefore a dream-chaser should be ready to move with the painstaking exercise that envelops his/her desire. If you want to become an inspirational speaker for example, one of the processes is self development and to achieve this, it is required of you to read and read and read as many books as possible, attend workshops and seminars, have a mentor who is a professional motivational speaker for professional and ethical guidance, build your confidence through practice, staying patient and optimistic. All these will expand your versatility, improve your spoken language and as well get you ready for the winning. One of the issues with becoming a motivational speaker is 'NOT WANTING TO READ, READ & READ'. Remember that Readers are Leaders

When it comes to dreams, eliminate the mindset of 'make it or break it', your mindset should be 'make it or make it'. Are you willing to make it?  Start living your dream by taking actions that support the process of achieving it. Dreams are nightmares, conquer them. Dreams are silhouettes, make them real. Mistakes and failures should be a strength rather than a dream killer.

Your dream should turn you into a hungry lion. See every process involved as a meal. Eat and get satisfied. Your satisfaction is the end result and that is a dream come true. Achieved dreams sometimes could be a threat so be careful. Further goals are limited by current success therefore whenever you achieve a goal, see it as a raw material to other dreams.

Dreams ought to be sustained and be of environmental benefit. Dreams are selfless, don't make it selfish if you want it to outlive you. Dreams are of varying sizes but one great feature of it is the ability to grow. Forget size, start the process, stay smart as you make some progress.
Remember! You are never too old to dream further or have a new dream. In practice don't call it a dream, call it a plan so as to have a clearer picture of your navigation map.

Abonyi Obinna Kingsley (Mr. K)

TRUE BEAUTY

The word beauty is usually misconstrued because it's a within treasure. In humans, the beauty of a person starts with his/her sincere smile which is a deep reflection of the heart. A smile is a sign of peace and acceptance, it's funny how we underrate it. Treasures are usually given a special treatment just like the bible said in the book of Matthew 13:44; Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field; when a man found it, he hid it again, and in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

When I was in college, my view of who a beautiful woman is was someone with a fine face and classic endowments. 

In the university another mindset crept in. I saw beauty as being educated but it was a huge disappointment to me because I met educated but not intelligent ladies. In addition to it were characters that couldn't keep a home.

When I started working, I never liked the fact that my female colleagues always ate outside and more so were never prudent with money. So there was a switch in what beauty became for me. So I started seeing a beautiful lady as someone who prepares her meal, prudent with funds and can convert $1 to $2. Well, this mindset has not been totally erased within me but there are more to that. There are sense making circumstances that could result in a lady not being able to prepare her meals and also save funds. 

When I started thinking about marriage, my thoughts of what friends, families and even haters will say about my wife, gave me another definition of what a beautiful wife is. I started looking out for light skin, pointed nose, curvy, tall and sexy lady with polished spoken English. These attributes were just a myth and after attending some marriage seminars, I dropped such thoughts.

There are several statements I would like us to look at before stating the obvious about what true beauty is.

* Looks fades

* Marriage doesn't cure lust and adultery

* Wealth doesn't keep a home are buy true loyalty

* Sexiness and sex doesn't keep a home or people

The fact is, there is no perfect woman or man out there but we have beautiful people who can give peace to your life. And it is that beauty we are here to talk about. 

True beauty can be likened to virtues and according to Wikipedia, virtue is moral excellence. It is a trait or quality that is deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as the foundation of principle and good moral being. In other words, it is a behavior that shows high moral standards i.e. doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. 

In summary, true beauty is found in the mindset, actions and inactions of people. So next time you want to define the beauty of a person, focus on the person's MINDSET, ACTIONS and INACTION. Stop looking at curves, face, sexiness, spoken English, etc.

Abonyi Obinna Kingsley (Mr. K)

I BELIEVE IN ME

 

The me you admire is the me that believed in me.

My trend of transition is a reason I believed in me. 

Hello dear, try to Understand the scenario.

Don't pray to be like me, pray to be the real you.
I have my challenges and they hurt. My failures gave me depression but for everyday I wake up, I see a fresh hope to press on.
I am a broke dude who can never give up on his dreams. Yes! I believe in the little daily input I make. 
My flaws weighs high but I take them as lessons and adjust where necessary.
I try to breed happiness within me because that's the only thing survival demands.
Competition is for self alone. Appreciate your little wins and be sure you are in a motion for the greater wins.
I believe in me, I love me. Every day input gives me confidence and for sure it's my winning bait.

You are your best motivation. Believe in you.

Abonyi Obinna Kingsley (Mr. K)

I CAN DO IT

Failure should be a motivation to go harder, only the weak sees it as a reason to quit. The stars take advantage of the dark to shine. Why then do you want to kill a dream on transit because of challenges? 

When we stop trying we start dying and when we start dying, the environment starts losing hope. Hope must be kept alive and the surest way is to be a diehard go-getter. Failure is a mindset and that mindset suggests impossibility. If you ever have the courage to start, then a little application of patience and consistency will give you a medal. Do not admire what you hope for from a distance, but live right in it.  Get deeply involved with the thoughts and activities that give oxygen to your dream. Be intentional with 'I CAN DO IT'.

More so, we should understand that success sometimes could be a threat to further success. Therefore, when a milestone is achieved we shouldn't sleep on it but rather press on for the next win. Every goal has a process and every process has thorns. Never allow the thorns to kick you out, and to achieve this, your drive to win should be greater than your fears.

Come on dear, let's go get that MEDAL.

Abonyi Obinna Kingsley (Mr. K)